LAZY NEWS

Here is the award winning series of reports on television newsrooms always on the lookout for an easy story.

IPHONES TODAY, THERE WILL BE ANOTHER ONE SOON
Lazy television newsrooms always ready for an easy news story hit a triple jackpot this weekend. First, they could head down to the Apple stores and report on the long lines of eager purchasers waiting for the magic hour when the IPhone would be released. Then, they just had to wait until someone couldn't get their IPhone to work. Oua-la! An instant IPhone crisis.
Now, they can be amazed by the amounts paid by fools and their money to people reselling their IPhones.

HOW ABOUT THEM GAS PRICES
They send a reporter down to the gas station to ask people filling up their car what they think of gas prices. Would you believe that none of them like it?

NO PUDDLE TOO SMALL
It is hurricane season and reporters are ready to fly in from every landlocked television station to stand in any high water they can find wearing their stylish rain gear and hip waders. I recently saw one reporter wearing dangling pearl earrings. Yes, it was a woman. They are working out to get stronger for their fight with the howling 100mph wind.
We have seen it before. I would be more impressed if they gave their report with only their head sticking out of the water.

JOB DESCRIPTION: TV News Reporter
Must be willing to stand in floodwater (you must find some kind of water to stand in after a heavy rain). You must go to every hurricane near or far and stand out in the open to show how hard it is to stand against the wind. Stand in Shopping Mall parking lots the day after Thanksgiving to marvel about how many cars there are.
You may be asked to go to Iraq or another war torn country, but you will not be asked to leave your hotel room. Your reports will consist of the daily death and injury reports that are passed out to the reporters at your hotel.
The city must be in the background for the cameras. Standing on the balcony or too close to the windows is optional.

THE BIG GAME
Television newsrooms always ready for an easy story send reporters to the local bars to ask drunks about what they think about their team in the championship. Every drunk has the same answer:

Yeahh!! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLIDAY LAZY NEWS
The day before Thanksgiving and the days before Christmas, reporters will be parked at the airport and will be amazed at how many people are there flying somewhere that day.
Does the news assignment director say-"OK Miss Junior Reporterette, you head over to the airport and be amazed, today."