Originally, Halloween was the day when the peasants dressed in costumes, usually opposite of their station in life, would knock on the door of the Lord of the Manor for trick or treats. If they didn't get a treat, then the lord would get a trick like getting his manor set on fire.
A MESSAGE FROM PEOPLE FOR ETHICAL TREATMENT OF PUMPKINS
It is the time of year when there is much cruelty to pumpkins. Just watch this great ugliness:
by Aaron Yonda and Matt Sloan splu.net
HALLOWEEN GOING TO THE DOGS
People are crazy about their pets. Their spending on their pets has doubled in the past five years to $34 Billion a year.
Dressing your pet in a Halloween costume is becoming increasingly popular.
I know someone who is going to dress their Pit Bull in a Yoda costume.
You can get a Wacko Jacko Mask for $30 at FrightCatalog.com
PASS THE .... HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
There were no mashed potatoes and gravy at the first Thanksgiving dinner, but they had plenty of eels.
Potatoes did not reach North America until 1700s and were looked upon as unchristian in Europe before the Pilgrims left. Potatoes were the "devil's apples" because they grew underground.
OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE WE GO! IF GRANDMA LIVES IN THE DESERT YOU MADE A WRONG TURN.
HAVING A HAPPY THANKSGIVING BY TRYING TO MAKE ME UNHAPPY
Every holiday wet blanket killjoys show up. For Thanksgiving, food nags tell me that everything I plan to eat is bad. Self appointed mythbusters tell me some new horrible fact about the Pilgrims. This year someone claims they were grave robbers. What do they want? For me to be depressed and contemplating slitting my throat?
I'll have another piece of pie, please. What time is the football game?
HOW TO SPEND THANKSGIVING HOMELESS AND IN THE BURN UNIT
Turkey fried in peanut oil is moist and delicious, but most shouldn't try to make it at home. Here are a few rules to remember,
Don't fry the turkey in the house unless you want to burn it down for the insurance money.
Don't fry a frozen turkey unless you want a volcono erupting in your face.
Test the displacement the turkey will make when you drop it in the liquid. You don't want the hot oil to overflow the top of the pot like the HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME when you lower the turkey.
Wear gloves that cover your entire arms.
Forget it. Buy one someone else fried or go out to eat.
George Washington initiated
the first Thanksgiving Day holiday held November 26, 1789.
WHAT TO DO WITH THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS
A fitness guru/crazy woman in a TV interview on what to with Thanksgiving leftovers said:
THROW IT OUT
Fat Chance! That's like hauling the Christmas Tree to the dump the morning after Christmas lights, balls and all.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS ARE MY TWO FRONT TEETH
They call it Black Friday. They should call it Black and Blue Friday. The crowds were lined up for the bargains as the stores open at some ungodly hour.
Apparently, in order to find bargains for Christmas presents in recent years you have to go out and risk getting into fisticuffs with other bargain hunters.
Just imagine, the warm feelings Christmas Morning when you say-"Merry Christmas, I had to crack a guy's skull to get 'dis for ya."
I was in line at 4AM at the door of the MATTRESS STORE for the day after Thanksgiving Early Bird Specials. Unfortunately things got nasty. I got into a pillow fight.
NOBODY WANTS TO CELEBRATE SNOWFLAKE DAY, STUPID
Another season of the war on Christmas has begun.
The White House will be calling its Christmas Tree the Holiday Tree, Sting is calling his new Christmas album WINTER, a Massachusetts elementary school is banning Christmas items, and red and green wrapping paper from their annual PTO Christmas fair fundraiser.
If an overwhelming majority were not celebrating Christmas there wouldn't be any euphemistic holidays to wish someone to be happy for. Who wants to celebrate the Winter Solstice or Snowflake Day? The special time reminds the 90% that observe Christmas to show goodwill and good cheer to everyone whether they believe in Christmas or not, unless they are caving in someone's head fighting over gift bargains.
THE CHRISTMAS PICKLE
An old German Christmas Eve tradition is the Christmas Pickle.
The Christmas Pickle is not a real pickle. It is a pickle-shaped ornament that is the last one hung on the tree and hidden deep in the branches on Christmas Eve. The first child to find the Christmas pickle gets an extra gift from Saint Nicholas.
The Christmas Pickle would be an old German tradition if anyone from Germany had ever heard of it. It sounds more like something a crazy weird uncle made up to tell the kids. Or, an ornament maker dreamed up the story to get rid of a bunch of pickle ornaments they had leftover and needed to unload. The Germans did have a tradition of decorating their trees with fruit and nuts.
There are a couple of legends on the origin of the Christmas Pickle tradition:
One story is of a Bavarian-born soldier who fought in the American Civil War. A prisoner in poor health and starving, he begged a guard for just one pickle before he died. The guard took pity on him and found a pickle for him. The pickle by the grace of God gave him the mental and physical strength to live on.
Another claims that hundreds of years ago two young Spanish boys, when traveling home from boarding school one Christmas Eve, sought refuge for the night at an inn. Here they encountered a evil cruel inn-keeper who trapped them in a pickle barrel. When St. Nicholas stopped at the inn that evening he heard their cries and tapped the barrel with his staff, magically freeing them.
Berrien Springs, Michigan calls itself the Christmas Pickle Capital of the World. They hold an annual Christmas Pickle Festival each December.