HOW DRY I AMA Beer Taster in Brazil sued his brewery for turning him into an alcoholic. He claimed they didn't warn him that tasting the equivalent of three pints daily for ten years plus receiving a free bottle of beer after his shift could make him an alcoholic.
The brewery claimed it wasn't their fault because he was already an alcoholic when they hired him. The judge awarded the man $49,000.
The family of a dictator's food taster are suing because he wasn't properly informed that he might be poisoned.
BURIED TREASUREMrs Bad Ideas bought a book at a used bookstore and found an uncashed check inside written in 1994. I started thinking about money people hide in the pages and probably forget about. I am sure the used bookstores shake most of the books they buy and retrieve what falls out.
I never have enough cash to hide in books, so I hide IOU's to myself in the pages.
SHAME SHAME SHAMEIt was true not that many years ago- if you did something shameful it marked the end of making big money from being a celebrity. Fatty Arbuckle had a wild party where a woman died and now you don't know who he is. We have arrived at the end of shame. Fear of embarrassment used to curb most base impulses. Not anymore. It doesn't matter, because there are so many people that refuse to judge bad behavior.
They say Paris Hilton heading to the pokey is going to increase her allure. Bill Clinton rakes it in and walks around with a chicken eating grin. Many actors', actresses', singers' opinions and lives are a blizzard of stupidity. The money just keeps on comin'.
IF EVERYBODY JUMPED OFF A CLIFF....We are deluged with polls and surveys. The nightly news quotes at least one everyday. Instead of painting a picture of what is going on, the polls and surveys are more of a way to manipulate public opinion with peer pressure. Most people don't want to be in the minority. If they don't have an opinion they might as well agree with everyone else.
A politician's favorite phrase is "everybody believes". It doesn't matter if everybody really does. If they say it enough times, the peer pressure of being left out may shove enough people over to make it true.
My favorite surveys have been from England. One asked what do you use to pick your teeth. Another, found an alarming 33 percent of people had sex with the boss at the office Christmas party.
CAVEBOY CENTERFOLDSCavemen liked full bodied women. How do we know? Archaeologists have found cave wall etchings of nude voluptuous women with large breasts and big curves. Scientists believe this is proof young men's (they had to be young because they didn't live very long) thoughts were preoccupied with zaftig females.
A caveman sculptor carved a nude statue 30,000 years ago- VENUS OF WILLENDORF.
RING A DING DINGFirst, researchers told us cavemen were drawing dirty pictures on the walls. Now, they find that cavemen were preoccupied with sex for fun instead of only reproduction. They say cavemen were swingers. Was there a Cave Pack? Some were involved in kinky sex. The researchers claim there were transvestite troglodytes (sounds like a bad movie).
HOW TO PICK UP CHICKSI recent scientific study found that giving caffeine to female rats made them revved up for sex. Instead of hanging around bars or plying your date with alcohol, maybe guys should be hanging around coffee shops or carrying a thermos.
Another study found that women are attracted most by scent. In a series of experiments involving smells placed on surgical masks, women were least attracted to the smell of cologne, cherries and barbecued meat.
The most appealing was a tie between a combination of cucumbers and Good and Plenty candy or baby powder. Does this mean for the best way to pick up chicks you should hang around the produce section gnawing on licorice after taking a bath from a can?
PS: Don't get a job as Pit Master in a barbecue restaurant.
WHERE'S THE BEEF?Why do pork products dominate breakfast? You can have all the bacon, ham, and sausage you want. Beef seems to be hiding until lunch time. I would rather eat a hamburger. Does that make me a weirdo?
NEW REFUGE FOR SCOUNDRELSAl Gore and other movie star "green" supporters justify flying in private jets, riding in limousines, $1500 or more a month electric bills, use more than one toilet paper square, and a generally unchanged lifestyle because they buy "carbon offset credits" to zero out their carbon footprint. They buy credits from companies that supposedly plant trees or invest in "green" technology. Al Gore buys his from a company that he owns.
The Financial Times said in an article these carbon offset companies are taking the money and not really doing anything with it.
And, the crooks haven't really moved in yet. The scammers that have been selling you time shares,resort(?) property, infomercial get rich deals, precious metals, etc. are hitching up the wagons and will soon be heading to the new frontier. Carbon offsets are being called "Environmental Enron".
Once again, a brilliant plan hatched by self-proclaimed geniuses will meet the "law of unintended consequences".
FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR HAIRCUT ON A TEN CENT HEADBRAVO TV had a reality show hair dresser competition and has had other shows about hair dressers that give $250 -$1000 hair cuts. They are very good at their work. Why does their own hair usually look like it was cut by three year olds that have been playing with the scissors?
THE SCIENCE IS UNDENIABLEThe new catch phrase to bully you into accepting what they say is "the science is undeniable". It is the equivalent of debating with their fingers in their ears going La la la la la la la la while the other side tries to talk.
The science is undeniable: Al Gore is a dumb guy that thinks he is smart. La la la la la la la.
THE SCIENCE IS UNDENIABLE
Solar Forecasters are predicting an inconvenient truth.